an ideal life?

A younger friend blurted out a question to me few days ago.

“Sister, how is an ideal life, according to you?” she asked.

What a question! I was struck dumb. This question suddenly brought another question in my mind: “Yeah, how is an ideal life, have I lived it today?”

How is an ideal life like … according to you all?

Each person will have different opinion, different hope, different dream, and will give different answer. For some people who feel unsatisfied with their financial lives, would say that a life with financial freedom is an ideal life. Some others who encounter difficulties with their jobs, would say that getting a better job is a way to live a better life thus to achieve an ideal life. Some people would complain about this, some people would complain about that, which implied their points of view about how an ideal life would be … according to them.

• The education fees are getting more and more expensive. I wonder how to solve this problem, my kids are still in their early primary schools. I wish I had better financial solver for this family.

• I need a better house, but I can’t afford it right now.

• If only the boss paid me three times higher than my current salary …

• I wish I could have a better life than today. I love my current working field but I wish I worked for a better company.

• I’m working at the wrong field and the good position was taken, if only I realized it sooner before I took this job.

• The job isn’t promising, I need a wage increase but I’ve been overworking. I need to solve this or I will never have time for my family anymore.

Rich people also have their own complaints, which imply their points of view about an ideal life. “What if …” and more “what if …” thoughts also haunt their lives. Some wealthy people have been feeling these ways:

• I have so much money now, what if one day I lose them all? Where and how should I save these money?

• I just knew this person and he / she is just too friendly. Does he / she have pure intention of becoming a friend, or is it because I have a lot of money?

• I wonder if my old friends would have no hidden intention behind their approach after I become richer nowadays. Their inner ones might have hidden behind masks now. I can’t really trust them any longer.

• My old friend’s son is interested in my daughter. Does he really love my daughter or is this just a trick used by his father to have a part in my business?

• I’m rich, but I still feel lack of something … what is that? Why?

• I have worked all the time for these money, but now I feel that all these money are useless, they never brought happiness for me. Was it worth it?

Even kids have their own complaint about life.

• Mom and Dad have been pushing me too much. I wish I didn’t have to get high ranks in school.

• The neighbor kids are making fun of me. I wish I were as popular as my older sister.

• Why Mom has always scolded me just because I am not as good as my brother?

• Why Dad always told me to never cry? Are boys not allowed to cry?

• I wish Momma never compared me with my cousins. I hate that.

• I wish we never moved into this area. I lost a lot of old friends since we moved, I miss them and I know nobody in this area.

Teenagers and adolescence do have their complaint about life too.

• I hate my current appearance. I wish I were as beautiful as her so he would also notice me.

• My academic records are getting worse. Will I make it to the favorite university?

• I wish I could leave this house, I’m not getting well with my parents nowadays. Pa and Ma have always told me to never do this or do that and told me that I had to do this or do that. When will they allow me to do everything on my own?

• Should I give up joining my friends and accept myself being treated as an outsider by them? They are actually nice but sometimes I just can’t stand following their lifestyles because I don’t feel that it is right.

And the list still goes on with the rests. There are unsettled things coming in life, the fear, the rejection, feeling unsatisfied, lack of freedom, not being able to achieve certain targets, not having what other people have, conflicts with the others, and the list goes on about “if only … then my life would be complete.” Everybody is seeking for an ideal life.

So what is an ideal life like? On the one hand, some people who feel lack of what the others have, they probably imagine how ideal life would become if they had what they don’t have now. On the other hand, for those who have what these people wish they had, also have their own complaint that life is still not ideal for them.

Seems like everybody doesn’t have ideal life, huh? A lot of people would see the others have lived ideally, but in fact, those other people might also have their complaint about their current lives.

So the question of the young fellow “how is an ideal life, according to you?” would get different answers by different people. Perhaps, this question would even get different answers by the same person in different situations. We probably don’t feel the need of this or that in current situation, but when we realize that we have the lack of it, we start to think that by having the lack of that thing, our current life is no longer ideal.

But life, to be ideal or not to be ideal, is the ideal of life really to be measured that way?

During this life, many people have wished and hoped for many things, especially when they face many kind of situations. There are several conclusion of people’s hopes and wishes in general:

• I wish I had been able to live without becoming dependent on other people in a way or another. A freedom. This includes financially, materially, mentally, emotionally, physically, etc.

• I know the need to manage myself and solve my problems more quickly than ever. Advices from the others are welcome, but I have the need to take decision on my own, not by dictation.

• I know I can’t satisfy everyone but I want to be able to interact with other people well, and it won’t be about being popular or accepted by everyone, but it is about how to deal with different kinds of people and personalities and about how to cope with their demands and how to say “No” to their demands sometimes.

• I would be able to stand current situation and to survive, no matter how hard it is, without losing my manner and temper.

• I would still be able to have a desirable environment for my own, even when I am not in the middle of a good one, I wish I could still create a good one for my own sake and for anybody else, if possible.

• Life is not only about work, money, foods, house, style and socialization. Life is about living it fully myself. Having a good environment with other living creatures is also a need. The matter is how to deal with them and how to get the good and healthy environment that would include the animals, the trees and plants, the ecosystem, the Earth.

• If only my current life could go on without complaining, without conflict, and everyone can get benefits by the outcome of my life and vice-versa.

Yes, that’s a conclusion I got so far about an ideal life for some people in general, and to shorten words “an ideal life” for me would be:

• a responsible life without demanding too much each other
• a life with the ability to cope with difficult things, conflicts and situations
• a life without fear, without the feeling of being insecure
• a life where I stop complaining for what I have been lack of, and being content with what I have had
• a life without any bondage of each others’ dependencies
• a simple life, without oppression from the others, where I still have my own private space but not becoming desolate
• and a life where I know that this is the Earth where I enjoy my living on, with the ecosystem and the environment.

That’s what I call as an ideal life and honestly, I’m still on my way of achieving this way of living by accepting the life as it is and accepting the fact that life is not always like what we have often pictured in our mind.

How about you?